Local weirdo guy who dresses like a member of the Taliban was in front of me in the take-away queue (but it became apparent that was he was actually in for a sit-in meal in the table-service area) asking for a cup of tea with his food, the exchange went something like this:
Mister Taliban: Can I have a tea…do you have semi-skimmed milk?
Chippy woman: No only full fat.
Mister Taliban: I can’t drink full fat milk…can you put 4 sugars in it then? It makes me sick if I don’t have 4 sugars.
Chippy woman: 4 sugars!!
Mister Taliban: Yes I’ve got a heart condition and if I don’t get 4 sugars I’ll be <mimics being sick>. We don’t want that.
Chippy woman: OK, sit down!

The guy sits down but 2 minutes later he’s up again and holds up an empty tupperware tub and asks “Can you put ice cream in this? It’s ok, it’s not contaminated it was ice-cream that was in it in a previous shop”. Luckily the phone rang so Chippy woman dealt with that instead.

But then some other nutter came in…

Nutter woman: How much is a hamburger supper for children?
Chippy woman: A small supper is £3.10.
Nutter woman: Then why does it say 1.60 next to it?
Chippy woman: That’s for a single hamburger without chips.
Nutter woman: Ok, can I have a single 1.60 hamburger with chips.
Chippy woman: So you want a supper?
Nutter woman: No, just the £1.60 supper.
Chippy woman: £1.60 is just for the hamburger ALONE. You need to pay £3.10 if you want chips as well.
Nutter woman: Ok, just make it…<deliberates>…two hamburger suppers.
Chippy woman: (shouts through to guy in back kitchen) 2 small hamburger suppers!

A minute or so passes and nutter woman shouts something into the kitchen about the hamburgers then comes back to Chippy woman and asks for 2 sausage suppers instead.